You are not bad at interviews.
Over the past year, I’ve talked to countless smart, qualified women who say some version of this:
“I’m right for the job, but I’ll never get it because I’m bad at interviews.”
Interviews are the breeding ground for anxiety. It can feel like your brain suddenly shuts down right when you need it most, like your thoughts are there but just out of reach. You replay every answer, worry you said too much or not enough, and walk out wondering why everyone else seems calmer and more confident.
Add in the racing heart and sweaty palms, and it’s easy to assume the problem is you.
It isn’t.
Most women early in their careers believe they are behind, under-qualified, or one wrong answer away from being found out. That belief, not your ability, is what holds you back.
You are qualified. And once you know how to showcase that qualification, interviews stop feeling like interrogations and start feeling like conversations.
Here are the three things that make the biggest difference:
I’ve been interviewing and hiring people for over 12 years, but I still remember being on the other side of the table. When I interviewed for my current role, the final conversation was with the co-owner. I wanted the job badly, and the pressure felt enormous.
Looking back, these three shifts are what I believe secured that role. They are also exactly what I look for when I interview candidates today.
And no, I’m not looking for people who are “good at interviews.”
I’m looking for people who are qualified, curious, and able to communicate clearly. Especially when the nerves kick in.
If you meet even 60 to 70 percent of the qualifications in a job description and landed an interview, you already belong in the room.
The person interviewing you is not against you.
They are tired. They are busy. They are covering extra work or watching tasks go undone. They want to fill the role, and they are hoping you will be the one who makes their life easier.
When you understand this, the dynamic changes. The interview stops feeling like a test and starts feeling like a problem-solving conversation.
That shift alone can take your nerves down a notch.
When candidates are similarly qualified, small talk often becomes the deciding factor.
Not because it is charming, but because it signals how easy you will be to work with.
Here’s how to use it intentionally.
First, when someone asks how you are, do not stop at “good” or “fine.” Add one small detail.
“I’m great. I tried a new restaurant I’d been wanting to visit last night. How are you?”
That single sentence opens the door to connection.
Second, have a simple hobby or interest ready for questions like “What have you been up to lately?”
Here's one I've used lately: “I just finished a great fiction book and I’m trying to pick my next read. Do you have any recommendations?”
Feel free to adjust it for something you enjoy.
Finally, look up your interviewer beforehand and pull one personal detail you can ask about.
“I saw you volunteer with this organization. How did you get started?”
“I noticed you recently traveled to Mexico. Any tips you’d recommend?”
Thoughtful curiosity goes a long way.
I am not looking for perfection. I am looking for growth mindset and curiosity.
The easiest way to show both is through your stories.
Before your interview, write down:
For each story, include:
That final part is critical. Reflecting on what you learned shows curiosity, self-awareness, and growth potential. Those qualities matter more than polish, especially early in your career.
→ Practice telling these stories out loud. Focus less on sounding perfect and more on being clear and honest.
When you do this, you will not need to memorize answers. You will simply adapt your stories to the questions asked. And because they are your real experiences, there is far less to be nervous about.
With these skills, interviews stop being something you dread and start becoming something you can handle with confidence.
And if interviews have been chipping away at your self-belief, you’re not alone.
In my weekly newsletter, I share the work, money, and mindset shifts I actually used to build a career I’m proud of. It’s written for college students and recent grads who want clarity, not noise.