It's your third week at your new job. You're in a meeting. Someone asks a question you think you know the answer to, but you don't say anything because what if you're wrong?
What if everyone realizes you have no idea what you're doing?
What if it's only a matter of time before they figure out you're not actually qualified to be here?
Sound familiar?
That voice in your head, the one that says "everyone here is smarter than me" or "I'm just winging it" or "they're going to realize I'm a fraud any day now"?
That voice is loud, persistent, and lying.
But guess what: the person sitting next to you in that meeting? They're thinking the exact same thing.
Kirby Hann is now certified in Five Voices Leadership Development and helps people overcome imposter syndrome for a living. But she remembers her first day at JM Smucker Company like it was yesterday.
"When you first start, you feel this overwhelming imposter syndrome," she admits. "You're feeling like, oh, am I really set up for success? Do I know all the things I need to do?"
Here's what she learned: "Everybody had a first day. Everybody didn't know everything right off the bat. It's OK to be present, be there, learn as much as you can."
Even the person who looks like they have it all together? They were once sitting exactly where you are, feeling exactly how you feel.
Jenna Hagerich, now a Senior Brand Manager at Campbell's Company (after spending 15 years rising through the ranks at Aramark, a Fortune 200 company), had the same realization:
"It surprised me how much I knew just as much as other people. I always looked up to my teachers and they seemed so much smarter than me. But stepping into that confidence was really important."
You have just as much to offer as anyone else in the room.
Act like it.
Confidence comes from action, not the other way around.
Kim Kanary, who's been VP of Marketing at multiple major brands, puts it perfectly:
"Building confidence takes time. Even when you have that little nagging voice in your head, conveying confidence, even if it's a quiet confidence, can be really powerful."
Translation? Fake it till you make it isn't toxic positivity. It's literally how confidence works.
You do the thing scared. You survive. You get a little braver. Repeat.
This is the confidence-action paradox that, unfortunately, nobody breaks down, but we all need to hear:
Waiting to feel confident before you act is like waiting to feel fit before you go to the gym. It doesn't work that way.
OK, great. So everyone feels like a fraud. But what do you actually do about it when that voice starts screaming in your head during a meeting?
Kirby's advice: "Just take that time to actually learn the pieces of the job and do them really well. Don't focus on the future of what you need to do. Lead from where you are today."
Stop comparing yourself to the person who's been there five years. They weren't that person on Day 1 either.
Jenna talks about this: "Remaining curious, asking a lot of questions... Don't sit silently in meetings waiting to be called on. Ask the clarifying question. Share your perspective."
Your "stupid question"? Three other people in that meeting are wondering the same thing.
Here's what Kim learned: building confidence isn't about magically feeling better about yourself. It's about getting data that you're actually doing okay.
Ask your manager: "How am I doing? What's one thing I could improve?"
Don't wait six months for your performance review to find out you've been doing something wrong. Real-time feedback beats annual surprise.
Here's something that might sting a little: that 4.0 you worked so hard for? It's not the thing that's going to make you successful.
The ability to read a room, build relationships, adapt to change, ask good questions, and show up even when you're not sure what you're doing? That's the stuff that actually matters.
Book smarts got you through college. Emotional intelligence will get you through life.
Kirby remembers feeling like the entry-level work at Smucker's wasn't glamorous: "You realize you're not always gonna get to do the most glamorous parts of the job."
But here's what she realized: "There's so many things that I learned within that job that actually helped me in other jobs."
Those tedious tasks that feel beneath you? They're teaching you:
Master the boring stuff. That's what gives you credibility to do the interesting stuff later.
Here's your action plan for the next 24 hours:
Tomorrow, in your next meeting:
Pick one. Do it. Survive. Build confidence from surviving.
That's literally the whole game.
And most of all, trust yourself.
💜 Brianne
Imposter syndrome is just one piece of the puzzle. Kirby, Jenna, and Kim are three of 12 successful women who shared their real, unfiltered advice in our new ebook: "NO ONE TOLD ME THIS: 12 Women Share the Secrets You Actually Need About Career, Money & Confidence."
Inside, you'll get:
From Wall Street to Fortune 200 boardrooms, these women have worked at the companies you want on your resume. And now they're sharing everything they wish someone had told them at 22.