7 Myths Stifling Your Emotional Wellness—And the Realities to Overcome Them

I knew from a young age that I would move to New York City to pursue my career. And I did it! I landed an internship at a magazine publishing house and was offered a full-time role just three weeks later. I was living my dream.

But at the same time, I was incredibly lonely. When I moved to the city, I knew exactly one person who lived there—a 50-year-old family friend. While he was essential in my journey and I adored him, he wasn’t exactly a built-in friend group.

In such a big city, trust was hard to come by, and dating or being out alone with certain people rarely felt right. I made great friends at work, but when I was alone in my apartment, I often felt sad.

That sadness grew into the feeling that I was doing something wrong. I was living my dream life—so why didn’t I feel socially fulfilled? It was part of the reason I ended up leaving the city a few years later.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was part of my journey. Now, through experience, I understand there are a lot of myths about emotional wellness.

Here, I break them down and share the realities so you never have to feel bad about what you’re feeling. Instead, you can recognize the feeling—the myth—and work to overcome it.

Breaking Free: The Truth Behind Common Emotional Wellness Myths

1. Myth: Emotional wellness is all about staying positive.
   
   Reality: Emotional wellness means embracing all your emotions, even the tough ones, and learning how to process them effectively.

You don’t have to be Pollyannaish to be emotionally well. In fact, it’s more important to understand what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and how to regulate those emotions during tough times. It’s okay to feel lonely, sad, or anything else.

Simply take the time to identify the feeling, determine what may be causing it, and consider what needs to be true for you to start feeling better.

2. Myth: Self-care is a luxury for when you have extra time.
   
   Reality: Self-care is a necessity for managing stress and maintaining balance—schedule it into your routine like any other priority.

I used to think I needed to ‘earn’ self-care time. Did I work hard enough today for that treat? If not, it was back to my to-do list.

But the truth is, if you don’t prioritize self-care, that to-do list will become overwhelming quickly.

Think about what gives you energy rather than drains it, then make sure you make time for it daily or weekly. For me, it’s reading and moving my body. For you, it could be a bubble bath, a smoothie, or a night out with friends.

3. Myth: Being busy means you're being productive.
   
   Reality: True productivity comes from balancing work with breaks and focused energy—not endless multitasking.

I recently heard that people aren’t rewarded the most for working hard—they are rewarded for solving the biggest problems. I love this!

In my first job, my boss had to send me home at 7 PM (after arriving at 9 AM and long after the workday had ended). I was working hard, but I was making a tiny salary. And while I did receive a raise quickly, it was small in the grand scheme of things.

Now, I’ve 5x-ed my salary, and it isn’t because I work myself to the bone—it’s because I find the biggest problems in our business and solve them. Whether I’m stepping in to make sales after a slow few months or revamping our pricing model, I take the biggest challenges head-on. That’s when I work hard—not just filling every minute of my day with busy work. And my mental health, emotional wellness, and bank account are better for it.

4. Myth: Loneliness after college means you’re doing something wrong.
   
   Reality: Loneliness is common during transitions. Building new connections and leaning on your support network is key.

During my lonely period in NYC, I did forge one of the closest friendships I’ve ever had. My friend Alison and I just got each other. Without her, I’m not sure I would have made it through okay.

Remember, it isn’t about the quantity of relationships; it’s about the quality. Find the people who build you up and never tear you down. Stick with them.

5. Myth: Structure makes life boring.
   
   Reality: Structure provides freedom—when your priorities are clear, you have more room for creativity and joy.

In college, you could sleep in, skip class, go out late, and eat Taco Bell at 3 AM.

But if you try to do those same things while holding down a 9-5 job, chances are you may lose your job, and you will definitely feel less than your best.

By building routines that support eating well, sleeping well, and moving your body regularly, you’ll feel good, excel at work, and have fun in the process.

6. Myth: You should avoid failure at all costs.
   
   Reality: Failure is a powerful teacher—it’s how you learn resilience, grow your skills, and build confidence for the next challenge.

There is no failing, only learning. I used to believe that mistakes were something to fear—that getting something wrong meant I wasn’t good enough. But the biggest turning points in my career didn’t come from playing it safe. They came from taking risks, making mistakes, and figuring out how to bounce back stronger.

Now, I see failure differently. Every challenge, misstep, or rejection is just data—a chance to adjust, improve, and try again. When you stop fearing failure and start embracing it, you don’t just build resilience. You build the confidence to take on bigger opportunities. And that’s when real success happens.

7. Myth: Emotional intelligence can’t be developed—it’s something you’re born with.
   
   Reality: Emotional intelligence is a skill you can grow with practice, reflection, and tools like mood journaling.

EQ isn’t a fixed trait—it’s like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

I used to think that some people were just naturally confident, effortlessly self-aware, and always knew the right thing to say. But the more I paid attention to my emotions, the more I realized that self-awareness, empathy, and resilience weren’t innate—they were skills I could develop.

Every time you grow your EQ, you make your life richer, your relationships stronger, and your career opportunities bigger. You have everything you need to develop it. And when you do, you’ll unlock a version of yourself that’s more capable, confident, and emotionally strong than you ever imagined.

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