How Trusting Your Gut Can Transform Your Life: 3 Times It Changed Mine

There’s a quiet voice inside all of us—one that grows louder with time and experience. It’s the voice of your gut, the one that knows you better than anyone else, and learning to listen to it has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life.

That Time I Failed to Listen to My Gut

I’ll never forget the night when the sun dipped into the horizon, casting a golden glow on the San Diego shore. It was picture-perfect—too perfect, in fact. As my boyfriend knelt down in the sand, ring in hand, every romantic ideal I’d ever had came to life. But behind the picture-perfect moment, my gut was screaming at me—No! No! No!

But I didn’t listen. When a man brings you across the country and kneels down on the beach with a ring in his hand, you say yes, right?

I shouldn’t have.

I should have listened when my gut told me this wasn’t right. See, I already had plans to move to New York City and pursue my dreams of working at a magazine. Maybe he thought that if he proposed, I wouldn’t go—or at least I wouldn’t be gone long.

But I knew once I got to the city, I wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

And that wasn’t the only difference. While we loved each other, there were some BIG differences in how we approached life. I wanted a 50-50 partnership, where we made decisions together. He believed in that to an extent, but he was raised to think the “man of the house” made the final decisions.

He also wanted to stay in small-town Ohio forever. That’s where our families live, so I understood, but I wanted to travel, see the world—live in New York, as I had been extremely clear about.

The next two years were mostly filled with us fighting over who would make sacrifices so we could be together.

If I had just paused for a moment and listened, maybe I could have saved us both from the heartbreak that followed. But every experience teaches us something, and this one taught me the true value of trusting myself.

I Finally Started Listening to My Gut

That wasn’t the last time my gut tried to steer me in the right direction—but thankfully, I finally learned to trust it.

The night I met my husband is a perfect example.

I had just moved back to Ohio from NYC and was headed to a local bar to celebrate my sister’s boyfriend’s birthday. It was a laid-back night, and at some point, I struck up a conversation with one of my now brother-in-law’s friends.

When he walked me to my car, I felt it—an electric current I couldn’t explain. My gut was practically shouting, There’s something here. Don’t let it slip away.

So, I listened.

From that night on, Rob and I spent nearly every moment together when we weren’t working. That was 16 years ago. Today, we’re happily married with two beautiful children—all because I chose to trust that quiet, knowing voice inside me.

And the house we bought? I got that same gut feeling when I pulled into the driveway and stepped out of my car. The house was nice but not what I had imagined for myself. It wasn’t in the neighborhood I initially wanted, and the landscaping needed a massive overhaul.

But this house has provided us with the warmth, security, and beautiful oasis to build my family. I honestly love it now.

I am so glad I listened to my gut, and part of me wishes I would have started sooner. 

How to Start Listening to Your Gut

Do yourself a favor: Think of your gut as your internal GPS. When you’re faced with a tough decision, it’s like that little voice in your head saying, turn left or reroute. For me, that voice shows up as a quiet yet persistent feeling—a gentle tug in my stomach, a sense of unease I can’t quite shake. Over time, I’ve learned to pay attention to these signals, recognizing them as an essential part of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Start noticing how your body reacts when you’re making decisions. A knot in your stomach, tension in your shoulders, or a racing heart might be signs that your gut is trying to tell you something. These physical cues are part of your emotional intelligence, helping you understand your inner world before you even put words to it. Learning to recognize them can deepen your self-awareness and sharpen your intuition.

If you have a gut feeling about something, consider writing it down. Track whether following or ignoring it led to positive or negative outcomes. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns, strengthening your trust in your instincts. Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding others—it’s about tuning into yourself. When you recognize your gut’s “voice,” you’ll find it easier to listen for it in the future.

Finally, when faced with a decision, give yourself space to step back and assess how you feel. Instead of rushing into a choice, pause, breathe, and check in with your emotions. What is your gut telling you? This practice not only helps you avoid impulsive decisions but also allows you to make choices aligned with your values and long-term goals.

Your gut is more than just a feeling; it’s a form of wisdom shaped by experience, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. Every time you trust it, you’re not just making a decision—you’re strengthening your connection to yourself. So the next time your gut speaks, listen closely. It might just lead you to the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Want more tips for improving your emotional intelligence? Subscribe to the FREE Independence Lab newsletter—each week, you'll receive insider advice, real-world stories, and actionable strategies to help you better your personal, professional and financial self.