--- title: I Used to Think Loneliness Meant Something Was Wrong with Me description: Loneliness is totally normal during the transition from college to career. Here are 4 things that actually helped me get through post-grad loneliness: image: https://theindependencelab.com/hubfs/post-grad%20loneliness.png --- [![image (58)](https://theindependencelab.com/hs-fs/hubfs/image%20(58).png?width=195&height=70&name=image%20(58).png "image (58)")](https://theindependencelab.com/) - Offerings - [Interview Frameworks Mini Kit](https://theindependencelab.com/interviewminikit) - [Mock Interview](https://theindependencelab.com/mock-interview) - Free Resources - [Senior Year Job Search Timeline](https://theindependencelab.com/jobsearchtimeline) - [Life Resume Template](https://theindependencelab.com/liferesumetemplate) - [Networking Rubric](https://theindependencelab.com/networking) - [Interview Warm-Up Worksheet](https://theindependencelab.com/interviewwarmup) - [Interview Checklist](https://theindependencelab.com/master-your-first-job-interview-checklist) - [First Job Survival Kit](https://theindependencelab.com/first-job-toolkit) - [Post-Grad Glow Up](https://theindependencelab.com/post-grad-glow-up-guide) - [Emotional Wellness Cheat Sheet](https://theindependencelab.com/mental-wellness-cheat-sheet) - [401k Checklist](https://theindependencelab.com/401k) - [Books I Recommend + Notes](https://theindependencelab.com/22-books) - [Archive](https://theindependencelab.com/blog) - [About](https://theindependencelab.com/about) - [Press](https://theindependencelab.com/press) [Get the Weekly Drop](https://theindependencelab.com/subscribe) ![woman feeling lonely post-grad](https://47169197.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/47169197/post-grad%20loneliness.png) [< Go back to blog](https://theindependencelab.com/blog) [Emotional Intelligence](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/tag/emotional-intelligence) [Self Care](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/tag/self-care) # I Used to Think Loneliness Meant Something Was Wrong with Me I moved to New York City before I even had my diploma in hand. I’d landed my dream internship, packed up my life, and had no intention of returning to Ohio anytime soon. I was excited. I was proud. And I was incredibly lonely. I arrived knowing exactly ... More make up I moved to New York City before I even had my diploma in hand. I’d [landed my dream internship](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/bombed-my-first-job-interview-job-interview-tips), packed up my life, and had no intention of [returning to Ohio](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/why-i-chose-to-quit-my-dream-job) anytime soon. I was excited. I was proud. And I was incredibly lonely. I arrived knowing exactly one person. A 50-year-old gay man I loved dearly, who kindly let me stay with him when I first got there. But beyond him, I knew zero women my age. ###### 💌 Get the exact strategies I used to land my dream job, earn 4 promotions and 5x my salary straight to your inbox. Get the weekly drop 👉 [click here.](https://theindependencelab.com/subscribe)    Even though I had people who loved me back home, loneliness showed up quickly. I dreaded heading back to my tiny apartment at night, knowing it would just be me until morning. Weekends felt endless as I tried to stay busy enough to quiet my thoughts. I missed the ease of college. Roommates. Teammates. Built-in community. Instead, it was just me in a city of eight million people, none of whom were my people yet. At the time, I believed this feeling meant I had made a mistake. Why should someone living her dream feel lonely or sad? Now, with distance and perspective, I understand this truth. Loneliness is totally normal during the transition from college to career. You lose structure before you build stability. You lose people before you find your own. ## Here are 4 things that actually helped me get through post-grad loneliness: 1. Building structure before building friendships...familiarity creates connection 2. Treating social skills like something you can practice...I tried to be the one to reach out first and follow up 3. Letting go of shame around feeling lonely...new city, new job, new version of you, of course if feels unstable 4. Giving myself more time than I thought I “should” need...real stability took time If you’re in that in-between right now, I’m glad you’re here. Trust yourself! 💜 Brianne ###### PS: Pilar Khawaja talked about finding friends in NYC after moving in 2024. [Listen to her full interview here.](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/post-grad-lessons-from-banking-analyst-pilar-khawaja?utm_source=hs_email&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_zEWADv6CS0k-sdtC-YAO9V6X-jxh_zL3_MybnU26eJYnOepIUAMqpnnP4qU8XNr2MoEPl) ## Latest articles There is so much more to learn on your journey to your independent life. Check out all our articles here. [![woman worrying she does not have enough experience](https://47169197.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/47169197/woman%20worrying%20she%20does%20not%20have%20enough%20experience.png)](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/dont-have-the-years-of-experience-required-do-these-5-things-to-get-ahead) [Career Growth](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/tag/career-growth) ### **Don't have the years of experience required? Do these 5 things to get ahead** Written by Brianne Rush, on Sep 10, 2026, 9:00:00 AM A client came to me recently feeling stuck. Read more [![](https://47169197.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/47169197/woman%20looking%20at%20Viral%20LinkedIn%20Post.png)](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/my-viral-post-makes-interviewing-a-little-bit-easier) [Career Growth](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/tag/career-growth) ### **My viral post makes interviewing a little bit easier** Written by Brianne Rush, on Sep 3, 2026, 9:00:02 AM One of my LinkedIn posts recently went viral. It provided so much value people were sharing it like crazy. Read more [![my-first-interview](https://47169197.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/47169197/Financial%20Independence-1.webp)](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/bombed-my-first-job-interview-job-interview-tips) [Career Growth](https://theindependencelab.com/blog/tag/career-growth) ### **I Thought I Bombed My First Job Interview + 3 Job Interview Tips** Written by Brianne Rush, on Aug 27, 2026, 9:00:01 AM Ever had a moment where you felt your dream slipping away right before your eyes? That was me, sitting at my college ... 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