When I first reconnected with Loren Ragland (fun fact, we were high school cheerleaders together!), I could tell immediately she understood something many of us are still learning: peace isn’t found in having everything figured out. It’s found in trusting yourself enough to handle what comes next.
Loren is a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Loren Ragland Therapy in Columbus, Ohio. She specializes in helping women navigate anxiety, depression, and the messy in-between moments of life, especially that disorienting season between college and full adulthood.
I sat down with Loren for The Independence Lab to talk about emotional intelligence, mental health, and what it means to “silence the noise” in your twenties. What she shared felt like a breath of fresh air for anyone trying to build confidence, clarity, and calm in a world that moves too fast.
You Don’t Need to Have It All Figured Out
According to Loren, one of the biggest myths young women face is the idea that we’re supposed to have everything mapped out by our early twenties.
“Certainty is a disease of the mind,” she said. “If you have everything figured out, you leave no room to grow.”
Her advice? Be open to the experience. Try new things. Let each job, each decision, and even each mistake reveal what feels right for you. Your twenties aren’t about getting it perfect. They’re about learning who you are through what you do.
Emotional Intelligence: Your Most Underrated Career Skill
Loren defines emotional intelligence as the capacity to understand your emotions, be aware of them, and apply them as you navigate this unpredictable world.
For women especially, she says, our emotions are not weaknesses—they’re powerful sources of intuition and insight.
“Nurture your emotional resilience,” Loren shared. “Listen to how you feel and what you want, rather than being inundated by other people’s beliefs or opinions.”
When you strengthen your emotional intelligence, you build a kind of quiet confidence that can’t be faked. It’s the difference between performing for approval and leading from authenticity.
Silence the Noise and Embrace Positive Solitude
If there’s one practice Loren wants young women to embrace, it’s what she calls positive solitude: learning to spend time with yourself intentionally, not isolating but listening.
“Don’t be afraid of solitude,” she said. “Stay off social media for a while. Be mindful of what you’re consuming, who you’re following, even the music you’re listening to. All of that contributes to your self-concept.”
In a culture that glorifies busyness and endless comparison, slowing down can feel radical. But Loren believes it’s essential for building self-trust.
“You don’t want to be an orchestration of everyone else’s expectations. You want to be you.”
How to Handle Change (Without Spiraling)
Change is inevitable, but, according to Loren, how we interpret it makes all the difference.
“Life is about change, and change is equivalent to growth,” she said. “We can use the same mental energy that fuels fear to imagine that things will work out.”
She encourages her clients to practice visualization: picture the kind of woman you want to become, how she would think, act, and carry herself. Then, start behaving in ways that align with that version of you—even before you feel ready.
Rethinking Imposter Syndrome
When I asked Loren how she handles imposter syndrome, her answer stopped me in my tracks.
“I don’t subscribe to that concept,” she said plainly.
She believes the idea of “feeling like a fraud” often gives too much power to self-doubt. Instead, she reframes new experiences as part of a learning curve.
“If you can’t be positive about your progress, at least be neutral,” Loren explained. “You may not be proficient yet, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be.”
That word yet is a mindset shift worth keeping. It turns self-doubt into self-compassion.
Resilience: Turning Setbacks Into Strength
We all get knocked down. The question is how quickly we get back up—and what we learn on the way.
“Take each experience and ask, ‘What is this teaching me?’” Loren said. “Even when something feels wrong, it’s often serving you in ways you can’t see yet.”
She shared a story from her early career, sitting in her car outside a job she dreaded. At the time, she didn’t understand why it felt so misaligned. Looking back, it taught her to trust her instincts and walk away from what wasn’t right.
That’s what emotional resilience really is: not pretending you’re fine, but listening deeply enough to know what’s not working and having the courage to act on it.
The One Thing She Wishes Every Young Woman Knew
If Loren could tell every recent graduate one thing, it would be this:
“Relax. Allow things to unfold. Everything you need, you already have within yourself.”
Her words are a reminder that independence isn’t just about earning a paycheck or landing a job; it’s about building the inner stability to move through uncertainty with grace.
The next time you feel behind, lost, or unsure of where to go next, remember Loren’s advice:
Silence the noise. Trust yourself. You won’t go wrong.
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